Ridicilous pugs

[Nastor]

Wall of text but its a hilarious read.

Stolen from mmo-champ


So I'm on my level 70 Mage and I get invited to do a normal UK run. After 4 straight hours of questing, a change of pace seems like a pretty good idea. Upon accepting the invite, I'm pleasantly surprised to see we have a level 77 Enhance Shaman, a level 77 Paladin tank, and a level 80 Holy Paladin. Should be a nice, easy run, I figure.

Fast forward 94 minutes and two wipes later (should have been my first clue), and we arrive at the last boss, Ingvar the Plunderer. Up to this point I've had to explain each boss encounter and what each attack does. To my further discouragement, I only had 1004 DPS but was top in damage - a mere three tenths of a percent above the level 77 Pally tank and obliterating the 77 Enh. Shaman. The third DPS - an 70 Elemental Shaman - was pumping out a galactic 441 DPS. To make things worse, I checked the healing meters on Recount and the Holy Paladin's healing comprised of a total of two spells: 4% Beacon of Light, and 96% Holy Light.

Strange things are afoot at the Circle UK, dude. This is also the same Paladin who rolled "Need" over me on this drop because it was "an upgrade" (and sadly would have been, provided Paladins could use daggers), and won it. I carried on munching on the remainder of my Christmas cookies and concluded that two level 77s and a level 80 healer should offset the amount of fail that was occurring on my screen with climbing frequency each passing second. But once again my optimism clouded a very important rule: If history and PUGs have taught me anything, it's that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, underestimate the power of Fail. Alas...

77 Prot Pally: "anything we should know about this guy?"

Me: Tank and spank. Step out of Smash. Melee stay behind him.

77 Prot Pally: "okay"

And then we wipe. A few "wtf"'s pop up in chat and I sigh. The tank complains about getting hit hard. I chuckle to myself and explain:

Me: You should do your best to step out of Smash. If you want, when you see him start to cast it, just run right through him to get behind him and then when he's done run back through and flip him.

77 Prot Pally: "i cant see him casting it. is there a way to see it?"

77 Shaman: "you can see it if you use omen"

77 Prot Pally: "i dont have the wotlk omen"

77 Shaman: "do you have auctioneer?"

Me: OKAY, look. Just target him. Even if you have no mods, if you have him targeted you'll be able to see him cast Smash.

71 Shaman: "and he does a mean aoe when we start the fight"

Me: That's Phase 2.

71:" there is no phase 2 lol"

Me: ...just run back please.

Again, with four "rdy"s in party chat, the tank charges in promptly dies a few seconds into Phase 2. Not instantly, mind you. The healer stood completely motionless and waited for everyone to take massive damage until she started to cast - what else - Holy Light. To which she was then silenced.

71 Shaman: "the the @!#! happened?//?"

Me: That was Phase 2.

77 Prot Pally: "this is why we always skip this guy.. hes so @!#!ing hard.. im getting hit for 11k lol wtf"

Me: You should step out of Smash.

77 Prot Pally: "why!? im level 77 and tank!!"

Me: And you can see how that didn't matter.

71 Shaman: "lol"

I run back because at this point I have my reservations as to whether or not either of the two Paladins or two Shamans know where their Rez spell is. And even if they did, chances are, running back would be faster than waiting for them to read the tool tip and figure out how to target and click me. The next attempt we get him to about 80% into his Undead phase when suddenly our tank gets no heals and dies. As I click Invisibility, I scroll through the combat log and take a peek of my Recount. Before I can measure the precise metric volume of Bad that is showering down upon this run like Q-shaped meteors...

80 Holy Paladin: "im sorry guys i keep going out of mana"

Me: You should stop using Holy Light. You're 80. Tank is 77. You should just put Sacred Shield on the tank and spam Flash of Light. Should be more than enough. This is the lowest and easiest dungeon in Northrend.

77 Prot Pally: "sacred shield lol i think your thinking of a different class"

Me: [the Holy Paladin] should have it.

77 Prot Pally: "well ive been a paldin for a long time and ive never even heard of sacacred shiled, so i think your wrong there buddy"

Me: Sacred Shield

77 Prot Pally: "hm.. must be new"

Me: Just put that on the tank and just spam Flash of Light. That's all you have to do. That's it. Don't even look at Holy Light.

71 Shaman: "i can see why you guys always skip this boss"

The next attempt goes even worse and again we wipe. At this point my patience, which grew to mild frustration, has evolved into morbid curiosity as to exactly how bad this can possibly get. I never saw a single Flash of Light or a Sacred Shield. And of course, our tank still enjoy eating several hearty helpings of Smash in his face and then crying.

Me: I don't understand why you're not just doing what I said.

80 Holy Paladin: "for your information i cant use flash of light because healbot wont let me for some reason kk"

Me: Alright, then do this. Open your book, put Flash of Light on your action bar. Target the tank. Push "1" over and over again.

77 Prot Pally: "shes trying dude"

Me: Solitaire is more complicated than this. *laughs*

77 Prot Pally: "you cant compare the two games"

Me: No kidding.

71 Shaman: "why does my screen say to stop casting?"

Me: That's his roar. If you're casting when he roars, it'll silence you. Just don't cast anything until he's done.

71 Shaman: "what about casting auto attack?"

Me: ... [no one saw this, but my head hit the desk at this point]

So we went. Again. And we wipe. Again. At this point it's pretty clear that not only do they not know how to play, but they're literally unable to learn how, which is my personal limit. They complain about the same things again and decide to just "skip" the boss ad go to another instance. I promptly leave the group, which elicits a friendly whisper from the pro tank.

77 Prot Pally: wth

Me: That was seriously one of the most embarrassing things I have ever seen in this game.

77 Prot Pally: ..you must have an 80

Me: I do.

77 Prot Pally: well im sorry but i actually have a life and a job i dont have time to spend my life playing a game

Me: I have a life as well. But I can't seem to find the correlation between the healer having no idea what to do and the social level comparisons between you and I.

77 Prot Pally: she was trying to heal but i kept getting hit for a stupid amoutn of damage.. 11k.. im 77 what the @!#!

Me: I told you all how to do the fight, step by step. She's level 80 and she can't keep a 77 tank up in a level 68 dungeon. And I'm beating both 77's in damage. It wasn't a good run. You'll figure it out one day.

77 Prot Pally: @!#! you

Me: Sorry, I can only sheep other people.

So let this be a lesson to all of you. Utgarde Keep is very, very hard. So tough, in fact, that on Normal mode, a 77 and an 80 can't tank and heal it. Serious business. Can someone open a ticket and let Blizzard know how horribly tuned this instance is? As a healer I want to be able to let my cat walk across my keyboard and keep everyone topped off, and as a tank I want to just be able to stand there and eat a Hot Pocket.

C'mon, this isn't Rocket Surgery.

It's a PUG Adventure.
_________________
"One paladin comes and we all dies. how is possible one paladin kill 3 horde same time??? he is immune, how is he immune??? i kan not kill him. no life disepeer from him??"

[Nastor]

Another one from mmo



This is the best WoW story I have read since this:


Back in Vanilla, I remember running Stratholme with this priest healer. We kept wiping and were wondering why, we asked the healer what she was doing, and she said, "Nothing, I'm healing like I normally do, but I got tired of buying gear."

We stood startled for a sec, and were trying to figure out what she meant. We asked her what she meant by that comment. And her reply was "The durability thing on my gear keeps on breaking after awhile, and I have to buy green and blue gear off the auction house, and I just don't have the gold anymore."

/facepalm harder then I ever have.
I then proceeded to ask her to type /played and tell me the days at 60. She responded, "17." You would think with the 17 /played days alone at 60, you would know by then about Durability and repairing.

I gave her some gold, told her to go repair, filled her in on the whole repairing thing, and coached her on better...gear. (Gogo crappy Vanilla Itemization.)

Oh also, she commented on having to run SM almost 3-4 times every week to get Hypnotic Blade, or Illusionary Rod because that's how long it would last before it broke.


Not taking any credit for the story. I forgot who posted it.
_________________
"One paladin comes and we all dies. how is possible one paladin kill 3 horde same time??? he is immune, how is he immune??? i kan not kill him. no life disepeer from him??"

[Bearmachine]

That is pure awesomeness...to read at least, can imagine it not being so awesome experiencing.
_________________

[Áranx]

That.. Is soo... AWESOME! lol, wtf, seriously, is this even for real?
_________________
Dude, the microwave dinged -Cool, what level?

[healsalot]

Hahahahahahaha!

This is just awesome

Just came back here to check on thepriests application... Think he applied for Dedicated now ^^

Gonna have a blast with my macro
_________________

[shadowthrone]

Did you find it? I checked as well and couldnt...

[Áranx]

Funny how we all went to get Thepriests application rofl
_________________
Dude, the microwave dinged -Cool, what level?

[healsalot]

Its GONE!!!!!

Anyways... I did some investigation, and it is him
_________________